18 Ways To Find Out Whether You Are A True Chennai-ite

1. You think Coovam is a river. You faint when you see real rivers [I did]

2.Speak perfect English in the office and “pettai” [colloquial] Tamil to auto drivers.

3. Think Usman road, T. Nagar is a holy place and don’t mind winding through the crowd and come out with a silly smile on your face, bags of clothes, toys, colorful vases for the living room and a battered credit card …

4. Celebrate Pongal and Mattu [ ox] Pongal even though you have never seen green paddy fields ploughed by oxen…your knowledge of the bovine is limited to cows that act as moving traffic islands…

You can jump over them artfully and get at your car or bus with an ease that’d put Jackie Chan to shame…

5. If a lady, can wear zari -enriched top and embroidered jeans to the office on Fridays but can drape a Kanchipuram saree with the same ease to attend “feymili” functions…needless to say bought from one of the garment shops in Usman road after killing the above mentioned credit card…

6. Whether pedestrian [ literally too] or a motorist can miraculaouly reach home [most of the time ]despite staring at Advt. Boards/posters / cut-outs….

7. Think beaches are places where they sell mangoes and bajjis. In fact visit beaches just to eat bajjis…

8. Never trust those buses that stop exactly at the bus stop [“Must have broken

down da..”]

9.Have a different view about gravity as you are used to seeing packed buses that tilt at impossible angles when they take a turn.[ “They don’t fall down because they have four legs!”]

10. A through Jnani who bows before a roadside shrine but has equal respect for the huge cut-outs of favorite stars/ VIPs.

11.Reserve the same reverence for water lorries too.

12.Never sing “Pyaar huwa , ikraar huwa…” on the streets during monsoon…A couple who sang that song disappeared down a man hole that was open…They must have reappeared near the Sea , one likes to hope…

13.As a motorist can ask profound questions to pedestrians who dart across roads “Vootla sollitu vandhiya?”[ Informed your family that you are planning to commit suicide?”

I ‘ve heard people pose this question often to other people and I am always amazed at their concern…[ but some pedestrians give motorists heart attacks…]

14. Can dig a borewell well beyond 200 feet and keep on digging to find water [ while tossing away any Gold coin that may be found on the way…Can you drink Gold coins? ]

15.Can argue with bus conductors endlessly because he failed to return 50 paisa that was due to them…

16. “If bulls pull a bullock cart why fish don’t pull fish carts?” Can make jokes like this while trying to cross a road full of all kinds of traffic…that include fish carts[ that carry mile long plywood sheets] among conventional traffic.

17.Can be very philosophical and funny most of the time as you know how to drown your worries in coffee shops , ] [ both the upmarket and down market ones]

movies, TV programs , blogs...

18. May be conservative but …

Any Chennai-ite young or old

welcomes new citizens to the fold

as he/she has a heart of Gold.

Bought from T. Nagar I am told.

[ Easy , easy don’t cry, I am not crying, sniff!]